you have finished your studies and obtained a post? Yes, we
have heard all that before, and that’s all words but now? Now
something must be done, now, do you understand that?
And what are you doing now? You are living upon them.
They borrow on their hundred roubles pension. They bor-
row from the Svidrigaïlovs. How are you going to save them
from Svidrigaïlovs, from Afanasy Ivanovitch Vahrushin,
oh, future millionaire Zeus who would arrange their lives
for them? In another ten years? In another ten years, moth-
er will be blind with knitting shawls, maybe with weeping
too. She will be worn to a shadow with fasting; and my sis-
ter? Imagine for a moment what may have become of your
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sister in ten years? What may happen to her during those
ten years? Can you fancy?’
So he tortured himself, fretting himself with such ques-
tions, and finding a kind of enjoyment in it. And yet all
these questions were not new ones suddenly confronting
him, they were old familiar aches. It was long since they had
first begun to grip and rend his heart. Long, long ago his
present anguish had its first beginnings; it had waxed and
gathered strength, it had matured and concentrated, un-
til it had taken the form of a fearful, frenzied and fantastic
question, which tortured his heart and mind, clamouring
insistently for an answer. Now his mother’s letter had burst
on him like a thunderclap. It was clear that he must not
now suffer passively, worrying himself over unsolved ques-
tions, but that he must do something, do it at once, and do it
quickly. Anyway he must decide on something, or else …
‘Or throw up life altogether!’ he cried suddenly, in a fren-
zy—‘accept one’s lot humbly as it is, once for all and stifle
everything in oneself, giving up all claim to activity, life
and love!’
‘Do you understand, sir, do you understand what it means
when you have absolutely nowhere to turn?’ Marmeladov’s
question came suddenly into his mind, ‘for every man must
have somewhere to turn….’
He gave a sudden start; another thought, that he had had
yesterday, slipped back into his mind. But he did not start at
the thought recurring to him, for he knew, he had felt before-
hand that it must come back, he was expecting it; besides it
was not only yesterday’s thought. The difference was that a
1
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month ago, yesterday even, the thought was a mere dream:
but now … now it appeared not a dream at all, it had taken a
new menacing and quite unfamiliar shape, and he suddenly
became aware of this himself…. He felt a hammering in his
head, and there was a darkness before his eyes.
He looked round hurriedly, he was searching for some-
thing. He wanted to sit down and was looking for a seat; he
was walking along the K—— Boulevard. There was a seat
about a hundred paces in front of him. He walked towards
it as fast he could; but on the way he met with a little ad-
venture which absorbed all his attention. Looking for the
seat, he had noticed a woman walking some twenty paces
in front of him, but at first he took no more notice of her
than of other objects that crossed his path. It had happened
to him many times going home not to notice the road by
which he was going, and he was accustomed to walk like
that. But there was at first sight something so strange about
the woman in front of him, that gradually his attention was
riveted upon her, at first reluctantly and, as it were, resent-
fully, and then more and more intently. He felt a sudden
desire to find out what it was that was so strange about the
woman. In the first place, she appeared to be a girl quite
young, and she was walking in the great heat bareheaded
and with no parasol or gloves, waving her arms about in
an absurd way. She had on a dress of some light silky ma-
terial, but put on strangely awry, not properly hooked up,
and torn open at the top of the skirt, close to the waist: a
great piece was rent and hanging loose. A little kerchief
was flung about her bare throat, but lay slanting on one
Crime and Punishment
side. The girl was walking unsteadily, too, stumbling and
staggering from side to side. She drew Raskolnikov’s whole
attention at last. He overtook the girl at the seat, but, on
reaching it, she dropped down on it, in the corner; she let
her head sink on the back of the seat and closed her eyes, ap-
parently in extreme exhaustion. Looking at her closely, he
saw at once that she was completely drunk. It was a strange
and shocking sight. He could hardly believe that he was not
mistaken. He saw before him the face of a quite young, fair-
haired girl—sixteen, perhaps not more than fifteen, years
old, pretty little face, but flushed and heavy looking and, as
it were, swollen. The girl seemed hardly to know what she
was doing; she crossed one leg over the other, lifting it inde-
corously, and showed every sign of being unconscious that
she was in the street.
Raskolnikov did not sit down, but he felt unwilling to
leave her, and stood facing her in perplexity. This boulevard
was never much frequented; and now, at two o’clock, in the
stifling heat, it was quite deserted. And yet on the further
side of the boulevard, about fifteen paces away, a gentleman
was standing on the edge of the pavement. He, too, would
apparently have liked to approach the girl with some object
of his own. He, too, had probably seen her in the distance
and had followed her, but found Raskolnikov in his way. He
looked angrily at him, though he tried to escape his notice,
and stood impatiently biding his time, till the unwelcome
man in rags should have moved away. His intentions were
unmistakable. The gentleman was a plump, thickly-set man,
about thirty, fashionably dressed, with a high colour, red
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lips and moustaches. Raskolnikov felt furious; he had a sud-
den longing to insult this fat dandy in some way. He left the
girl for a moment and walked towards the gentleman.
‘Hey! You Svidrigaïlov! What do you want here?’ he
shouted, clenching his fists and laughing, spluttering with
rage.
‘What do you mean?’ the gentleman asked sternly, scowl-
ing in haughty astonishment.
‘Get away, that’s what I mean.’
‘How dare you, you low fellow!’
He raised his cane. Raskolnikov rushed at him with
his fists, without reflecting that the stout gentleman was a
match for two men like himself. But at that instant some-
one seized him from behind, and a police constable stood
between them.
‘That’s enough, gentlemen, no fighting, please, in a public
place. What do you want? Who are you?’ he asked Raskol-
nikov sternly, noticing his rags.
Raskolnikov looked at him intently. He had a straight-
forward, sensible, soldierly face, with grey moustaches and
whiskers.
‘You are just the man I want,’ Raskolnikov cried, catch-
ing at his arm. ‘I am a student, Raskolnikov…. You may as
well know that too,’ he added, addressing the gentleman,
‘come along, I have something to show you.’
And taking the policeman by the hand he drew him to-
wards the seat.
‘Look here, hopelessly drunk, and she has just come
down the boulevard. There is no telling who and what she
Crime and Punishment
is, she does not look like a professional. It’s more likely
she has been given drink and deceived somewhere … for
the first time … you understand? and they’ve put her out
into the street like that. Look at the way her dress is torn,
and the way it has been put on: she has been dressed by
somebody, she has not dressed herself, and dressed by un-
practised hands, by a man’s hands; that’s evident. And now
look there: I don’t know that dandy with whom I was going
to fight, I see him for the first time, but he, too, has seen her
on the road, just now, drunk, not knowing what she is do-
ing, and now he is very eager to get hold of her, to get her
away somewhere while she is in this state … that’s certain,
believe me, I am not wrong. I saw him myself watching her
and following her, but I prevented him, and he is just wait-
ing for me to go away. Now he has walked away a little, and
is standing still, pretending to make a cigarette…. Think
how can we keep her out of his hands, and how are we to
get her home?’
The policeman saw it all in a flash. The stout gentleman
was easy to understand, he turned to consider the girl. The
policeman bent over to examine her more closely, and his
face worked with genuine compassion.
‘Ah, what a pity!’ he said, shaking his head—‘why, she
is quite a child! She has been deceived, you can see that at
once. Listen, lady,’ he began addressing her, ‘where do you
live?’ The girl opened her weary and sleepy-looking eyes,
gazed blankly at the speaker and waved her hand.
‘Here,’ said Raskolnikov feeling in his pocket and finding
twenty copecks, ‘here, call a cab and tell him to drive her to
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her address. The only thing is to find out her address!’
‘Missy, missy!’ the policeman began again, taking the
money. ‘I’ll fetch you a cab and take you home myself.
Where shall I take you, eh? Where do you live?’
‘Go away! They won’t let me alone,’ the girl muttered, and
once more waved her hand.
‘Ach, ach, how shocking! It’s shameful, missy, it’s a
shame!’ He shook his head again, shocked, sympathetic and
indignant.
‘It’s a difficult job,’ the policeman said to Raskolnikov,
and as he did so, he looked him up and down in a rapid
glance. He, too, must have seemed a strange figure to him:
dressed in rags and handing him money!
‘Did you meet her far from here?’ he asked him.
‘I tell you she was walking in front of me, staggering, just
here, in the boulevard. She only just reached the seat and
sank down on it.’
‘Ah, the shameful things that are done in the world now-
adays, God have mercy on us! An innocent creature like
that, drunk already! She has been deceived, that’s a sure
thing. See how her dress has been torn too…. Ah, the vice
one sees nowadays! And as likely as not she belongs to gen-
tlefolk too, poor ones maybe…. There are many like that
nowadays. She looks refined, too, as though she were a lady,’
and he bent over her once more.
Perhaps he had daughters growing up like that, ‘look-
ing like ladies and refined’ with pretensions to gentility and
smartness….
‘The chief thing is,’ Raskolnikov persisted, ‘to keep her
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out of this scoundrel’s hands! Why should he outrage her!
It’s as clear as day what he is after; ah, the brute, he is not
moving off!’
Raskolnikov spoke aloud and pointed to him. The gen-
tleman heard him, and seemed about to fly into a rage again,
but thought better of it, and confined himself to a contemp-
tuous look. He then walked slowly another ten paces away
and again halted.
‘Keep her out of his hands we can,’ said the constable
thoughtfully, ‘if only she’d tell us where to take her, but as it
is…. Missy, hey, missy!’ he bent over her once more.
She opened her eyes fully all of a sudden, looked at him
intently, as though realising something, got up from the
seat and walked away in the direction from which she had
come. ‘Oh shameful wretches, they won’t let me alone!’ she
said, waving her hand again. She walked quickly, though
staggering as before. The dandy followed her, but along an-
other avenue, keeping his eye on her.
‘Don’t be anxious, I won’t let him have her,’ the police-
man said resolutely, and he set off after them.
‘Ah, the vice one sees nowadays!’ he repeated aloud, sigh-
ing.
At that moment something seemed to sting Raskolnikov;
in an instant a complete revulsion of feeling came over
him.
‘Hey, here!’ he shouted after the policeman.
The latter turned round.
‘Let them be! What is it to do with you? Let her go! Let
him amuse himself.’ He pointed at the dandy, ‘What is it to
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do with you?’
The policeman was bewildered, and stared at him open-
eyed. Raskolnikov laughed.
‘Well!’ ejaculated the policeman, with a gesture of
contempt, and he walked after the dandy and the girl, prob-
ably taking Raskolnikov for a madman or something even
worse.
‘He has carried off my twenty copecks,’ Raskolnikov
murmured angrily when he was left alone. ‘Well, let him
take as much from the other fellow to allow him to have the
girl and so let it end. And why did I want to interfere? Is it
for me to help? Have I any right to help? Let them devour
each other alive—what is to me? How did I dare to give him
twenty copecks? Were they mine?’
In spite of those strange words he felt very wretched. He
sat down on the deserted seat. His thoughts strayed aim-
lessly…. He found it hard to fix his mind on anything at that
moment. He longed to forget himself altogether, to forget
everything, and then to wake up and begin life anew….
‘Poor girl!’ he said, looking at the empty corner where
she had sat— ‘She will come to herself and weep, and then
her mother will find out…. She will give her a beating, a
horrible, shameful beating and then maybe, turn her out of
doors…. And even if she does not, the Darya Frantsovnas
will get wind of it, and the girl will soon be slipping out on
the sly here and there. Then there will be the hospital di-
rectly (that’s always the luck of those girls with respectable
mothers, who go wrong on the sly) and then … again the
hospital … drink … the taverns … and more hospital, in
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two or three years—a wreck, and her life over at eighteen or
nineteen…. Have not I seen cases like that? And how have
they been brought to it? Why, they’ve all come to it like that.
Ugh! But what does it matter? That’s as it should be, they
tell us. A certain percentage, they tell us, must every year go
… that way … to the devil, I suppose, so that the rest may
remain chaste, and not be interfered with. A percentage!
What splendid words they have; they are so scientific, so
consolatory…. Once you’ve said ‘percentage’ there’s nothing
more to worry about. If we had any other word … maybe we
might feel more uneasy…. But what if Dounia were one of
the percentage! Of another one if not that one?
‘But where am I going?’ he thought suddenly. ‘Strange,
I came out for something. As soon as I had read the letter
I came out…. I was going to Vassilyevsky Ostrov, to Ra-
zumihin. That’s what it was … now I remember. What for,
though? And what put the idea of going to Razumihin into
my head just now? That’s curious.’
He wondered at himself. Razumihin was one of his old
comrades at the university. It was remarkable that Raskol-
nikov had hardly any friends at the university; he kept aloof
from everyone, went to see no one, and did not welcome
anyone who came to see him, and indeed everyone soon
gave him up. He took no part in the students’ gatherings,
amusements or conversations. He worked with great inten-
sity without sparing himself, and he was respected for this,
but no one liked him. He was very poor, and there was a
sort of haughty pride and reserve about him, as though he
were keeping something to himself. He seemed to some of
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his comrades to look down upon them all as children, as
though he were superior in development, knowledge and
convictions, as though their beliefs and interests were be-
neath him.
With Razumihin he had got on, or, at least, he was more
unreserved and communicative with him. Indeed it was
impossible to be on any other terms with Razumihin. He
was an exceptionally good-humoured and candid youth,
good-natured to the point of simplicity, though both depth
and dignity lay concealed under that simplicity. The better
of his comrades understood this, and all were fond of him.
He was extremely intelligent, though he was certainly rath-
er a simpleton at times. He was of striking appearance—tall,
thin, blackhaired and always badly shaved. He was some-
times uproarious and was reputed to be of great physical
strength. One night, when out in a festive company, he had
with one blow laid a gigantic policeman on his back. There
was no limit to his drinking powers, but he could abstain
from drink altogether; he sometimes went too far in his
pranks; but he could do without pranks altogether. Another
thing striking about Razumihin, no failure distressed him,
and it seemed as though no unfavourable circumstances
could crush him. He could lodge anywhere, and bear the
extremes of cold and hunger. He was very poor, and kept
himself entirely on what he could earn by work of one sort
or another. He knew of no end of resources by which to
earn money. He spent one whole winter without lighting
his stove, and used to declare that he liked it better, because
one slept more soundly in the cold. For the present he, too,
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0
had been obliged to give up the university, but it was only
for a time, and he was working with all his might to save
enough to return to his studies again. Raskolnikov had not
been to see him for the last four months, and Razumihin
did not even know his address. About two months before,
they had met in the street, but Raskolnikov had turned
away and even crossed to the other side that he might not be
observed. And though Razumihin noticed him, he passed
him by, as he did not want to annoy him.
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Chapter V
‘O
f course, I’ve been meaning lately to go to Razumi-
hin’s to ask for work, to ask him to get me lessons or
something …’ Raskolnikov thought, ‘but what help can
he be to me now? Suppose he gets me lessons, suppose he
shares his last farthing with me, if he has any farthings, so
that I could get some boots and make myself tidy enough to
give lessons … hm … Well and what then? What shall I do
with the few coppers I earn? That’s not what I want now. It’s
really absurd for me to go to Razumihin….’
The question why he was now going to Razumihin agi-
tated him even more than he was himself aware; he kept
uneasily seeking for some sinister significance in this ap-
parently ordinary action.
‘Could I have expected to set it all straight and to find a
way out by means of Razumihin alone?’ he asked himself
in perplexity.
He pondered and rubbed his forehead, and, strange to
say, after long musing, suddenly, as if it were spontaneously
and by chance, a fantastic thought came into his head.
‘Hm … to Razumihin’s,’ he said all at once, calmly, as
though he had reached a final determination. ‘I shall go to
Razumihin’s of course, but … not now. I shall go to him …
on the next day after It, when It will be over and everything
will begin afresh….’
Crime and Punishment
And suddenly he realised what he was thinking.
‘After It,’ he shouted, jumping up from the seat, ‘but is It
really going to happen? Is it possible it really will happen?’
He left the seat, and went off almost at a run; he meant to
turn back, homewards, but the thought of going home sud-
denly filled him with intense loathing; in that hole, in that
awful little cupboard of his, all this had for a month past
been growing up in him; and he walked on at random.
His nervous shudder had passed into a fever that made
him feel shivering; in spite of the heat he felt cold. With a
kind of effort he began almost unconsciously, from some in-
ner craving, to stare at all the objects before him, as though
looking for something to distract his attention; but he did
not succeed, and kept dropping every moment into brood-
ing. When with a start he lifted his head again and looked
round, he forgot at once what he had just been thinking
about and even where he was going. In this way he walked
right across Vassilyevsky Ostrov, came out on to the Lesser
Neva, crossed the bridge and turned towards the islands.
The greenness and freshness were at first restful to his wea-
ry eyes after the dust of the town and the huge houses that
hemmed him in and weighed upon him. Here there were
no taverns, no stifling closeness, no stench. But soon these
new pleasant sensations passed into morbid irritability.
Sometimes he stood still before a brightly painted summer
villa standing among green foliage, he gazed through the
fence, he saw in the distance smartly dressed women on the
verandahs and balconies, and children running in the gar-
dens. The flowers especially caught his attention; he gazed
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at them longer than at anything. He was met, too, by luxu-
rious carriages and by men and women on horseback; he
watched them with curious eyes and forgot about them be-
fore they had vanished from his sight. Once he stood still
and counted his money; he found he had thirty copecks.
‘Twenty to the policeman, three to Nastasya for the letter, so
I must have given forty-seven or fifty to the Marmeladovs
yesterday,’ he thought, reckoning it up for some unknown
reason, but he soon forgot with what object he had taken the
money out of his pocket. He recalled it on passing an eating-
house or tavern, and felt that he was hungry…. Going into
the tavern he drank a glass of vodka and ate a pie of some
sort. He finished eating it as he walked away. It was a long
while since he had taken vodka and it had an effect upon
him at once, though he only drank a wineglassful. His legs
felt suddenly heavy and a great drowsiness came upon him.
He turned homewards, but reaching Petrovsky Ostrov he
stopped completely exhausted, turned off the road into the
bushes, sank down upon the grass and instantly fell asleep.
In a morbid condition of the brain, dreams often have a
singular actuality, vividness, and extraordinary semblance
of reality. At times monstrous images are created, but the
setting and the whole picture are so truthlike and filled
with details so delicate, so unexpectedly, but so artistically
consistent, that the dreamer, were he an artist like Push-
kin or Turgenev even, could never have invented them in
the waking state. Such sick dreams always remain long in
the memory and make a powerful impression on the over-
wrought and deranged nervous system.
Crime and Punishment
Raskolnikov had a fearful dream. He dreamt he was back
in his childhood in the little town of his birth. He was a
child about seven years old, walking into the country with
his father on the evening of a holiday. It was a grey and
heavy day, the country was exactly as he remembered it; in-
deed he recalled it far more vividly in his dream than he
had done in memory. The little town stood on a level flat
as bare as the hand, not even a willow near it; only in the
far distance, a copse lay, a dark blur on the very edge of the
horizon. A few paces beyond the last market garden stood
a tavern, a big tavern, which had always aroused in him a
feeling of aversion, even of fear, when he walked by it with
his father. There was always a crowd there, always shouting,
laughter and abuse, hideous hoarse singing and often fight-
ing. Drunken and horrible-looking figures were hanging
about the tavern. He used to cling close to his father, trem-
bling all over when he met them. Near the tavern the road
became a dusty track, the dust of which was always black.
It was a winding road, and about a hundred paces further
on, it turned to the right to the graveyard. In the middle
of the graveyard stood a stone church with a green cupola
where he used to go to mass two or three times a year with
his father and mother, when a service was held in memory
of his grandmother, who had long been dead, and whom
he had never seen. On these occasions they used to take on
a white dish tied up in a table napkin a special sort of rice
pudding with raisins stuck in it in the shape of a cross. He
loved that church, the old-fashioned, unadorned ikons and
the old priest with the shaking head. Near his grandmoth-
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er’s grave, which was marked by a stone, was the little grave
of his younger brother who had died at six months old. He
did not remember him at all, but he had been told about
his little brother, and whenever he visited the graveyard he
used religiously and reverently to cross himself and to bow
down and kiss the little grave. And now he dreamt that he
was walking with his father past the tavern on the way to
the graveyard; he was holding his father’s hand and looking
with dread at the tavern. A peculiar circumstance attract-
ed his attention: there seemed to be some kind of festivity
going on, there were crowds of gaily dressed townspeople,
peasant women, their husbands, and riff-raff of all sorts, all
singing and all more or less drunk. Near the entrance of the
tavern stood a cart, but a strange cart. It was one of those
big carts usually drawn by heavy cart-horses and laden with
casks of wine or other heavy goods. He always liked look-
ing at those great cart- horses, with their long manes, thick
legs, and slow even pace, drawing along a perfect mountain
with no appearance of effort, as though it were easier going
with a load than without it. But now, strange to say, in the
shafts of such a cart he saw a thin little sorrel beast, one of
those peasants’ nags which he had often seen straining their
utmost under a heavy load of wood or hay, especially when
the wheels were stuck in the mud or in a rut. And the peas-
ants would beat them so cruelly, sometimes even about the
nose and eyes, and he felt so sorry, so sorry for them that
he almost cried, and his mother always used to take him
away from the window. All of a sudden there was a great
uproar of shouting, singing and the balalaïka, and from the
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tavern a number of big and very drunken peasants came
out, wearing red and blue shirts and coats thrown over their
shoulders.
‘Get in, get in!’ shouted one of them, a young thick-
necked peasant with a fleshy face red as a carrot. ‘I’ll take
you all, get in!’
But at once there was an outbreak of laughter and excla-
mations in the crowd.
‘Take us all with a beast like that!’
‘Why, Mikolka, are you crazy to put a nag like that in
such a cart?’
‘And this mare is twenty if she is a day, mates!’
‘Get in, I’ll take you all,’ Mikolka shouted again, leaping
first into the cart, seizing the reins and standing straight up
in front. ‘The bay has gone with Matvey,’ he shouted from
the cart—‘and this brute, mates, is just breaking my heart, I
feel as if I could kill her. She’s just eating her head off. Get in,
I tell you! I’ll make her gallop! She’ll gallop!’ and he picked
up the whip, preparing himself with relish to flog the little
mare.
‘Get in! Come along!’ The crowd laughed. ‘D’you hear,
she’ll gallop!’
‘Gallop indeed! She has not had a gallop in her for the
last ten years!’
‘She’ll jog along!’
‘Don’t you mind her, mates, bring a whip each of you, get
ready!’
‘All right! Give it to her!’
They all clambered into Mikolka’s cart, laughing and
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making jokes. Six men got in and there was still room for
more. They hauled in a fat, rosy-cheeked woman. She was
dressed in red cotton, in a pointed, beaded headdress and
thick leather shoes; she was cracking nuts and laughing. The
crowd round them was laughing too and indeed, how could
they help laughing? That wretched nag was to drag all the
cartload of them at a gallop! Two young fellows in the cart
were just getting whips ready to help Mikolka. With the cry
of ‘now,’ the mare tugged with all her might, but far from
galloping, could scarcely move forward; she struggled with
her legs, gasping and shrinking from the blows of the three
whips which were showered upon her like hail. The laugh-
ter in the cart and in the crowd was redoubled, but Mikolka
flew into a rage and furiously thrashed the mare, as though
he supposed she really could gallop.
‘Let me get in, too, mates,’ shouted a young man in the
crowd whose appetite was aroused.
‘Get in, all get in,’ cried Mikolka, ‘she will draw you all.
I’ll beat her to death!’ And he thrashed and thrashed at the
mare, beside himself with fury.
‘Father, father,’ he cried, ‘father, what are they doing? Fa-
ther, they are beating the poor horse!’
‘Come along, come along!’ said his father. ‘They are
drunken and foolish, they are in fun; come away, don’t
look!’ and he tried to draw him away, but he tore himself
away from his hand, and, beside himself with horror, ran to
the horse. The poor beast was in a bad way. She was gasping,
standing still, then tugging again and almost falling.
‘Beat her to death,’ cried Mikolka, ‘it’s come to that. I’ll
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do for her!’
‘What are you about, are you a Christian, you devil?’
shouted an old man in the crowd.
‘Did anyone ever see the like? A wretched nag like that
pulling such a cartload,’ said another.
‘You’ll kill her,’ shouted the third.
‘Don’t meddle! It’s my property, I’ll do what I choose. Get
in, more of you! Get in, all of you! I will have her go at a gal-
lop! …’
All at once laughter broke into a roar and covered every-
thing: the mare, roused by the shower of blows, began feebly
kicking. Even the old man could not help smiling. To think
of a wretched little beast like that trying to kick!
Two lads in the crowd snatched up whips and ran to the
mare to beat her about the ribs. One ran each side.
‘Hit her in the face, in the eyes, in the eyes,’ cried Mikol-
ka.
‘Give us a song, mates,’ shouted someone in the cart and
everyone in the cart joined in a riotous song, jingling a tam-
bourine and whistling. The woman went on cracking nuts
and laughing.
… He ran beside the mare, ran in front of her, saw her
being whipped across the eyes, right in the eyes! He was
crying, he felt choking, his tears were streaming. One of the
men gave him a cut with the whip across the face, he did
not feel it. Wringing his hands and screaming, he rushed up
to the grey-headed old man with the grey beard, who was
shaking his head in disapproval. One woman seized him by
the hand and would have taken him away, but he tore him-
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self from her and ran back to the mare. She was almost at
the last gasp, but began kicking once more.
‘I’ll teach you to kick,’ Mikolka shouted ferociously. He
threw down the whip, bent forward and picked up from the
bottom of the cart a long, thick shaft, he took hold of one
end with both hands and with an effort brandished it over
the mare.
‘He’ll crush her,’ was shouted round him. ‘He’ll kill her!’
‘It’s my property,’ shouted Mikolka and brought the shaft
down with a swinging blow. There was a sound of a heavy
thud.
‘Thrash her, thrash her! Why have you stopped?’ shouted
voices in the crowd.
And Mikolka swung the shaft a second time and it fell
a second time on the spine of the luckless mare. She sank
back on her haunches, but lurched forward and tugged for-
ward with all her force, tugged first on one side and then on
the other, trying to move the cart. But the six whips were at-
tacking her in all directions, and the shaft was raised again
and fell upon her a third time, then a fourth, with heavy
measured blows. Mikolka was in a fury that he could not
kill her at one blow.
‘She’s a tough one,’ was shouted in the crowd.
‘She’ll fall in a minute, mates, there will soon be an end of
her,’ said an admiring spectator in the crowd.
‘Fetch an axe to her! Finish her off,’ shouted a third.
‘I’ll show you! Stand off,’ Mikolka screamed frantical-
ly; he threw down the shaft, stooped down in the cart and
picked up an iron crowbar. ‘Look out,’ he shouted, and with
Crime and Punishment
0
all his might he dealt a stunning blow at the poor mare. The
blow fell; the mare staggered, sank back, tried to pull, but
the bar fell again with a swinging blow on her back and she
fell on the ground like a log.
‘Finish her off,’ shouted Mikolka and he leapt beside him-
self, out of the cart. Several young men, also flushed with
drink, seized anything they could come across—whips,
sticks, poles, and ran to the dying mare. Mikolka stood on
one side and began dealing random blows with the crow-
bar. The mare stretched out her head, drew a long breath
and died.
‘You butchered her,’ someone shouted in the crowd.
‘Why wouldn’t she gallop then?’
‘My property!’ shouted Mikolka, with bloodshot eyes,
brandishing the bar in his hands. He stood as though re-
gretting that he had nothing more to beat.
‘No mistake about it, you are not a Christian,’ many voic-
es were shouting in the crowd.
But the poor boy, beside himself, made his way, scream-
ing, through the crowd to the sorrel nag, put his arms round
her bleeding dead head and kissed it, kissed the eyes and
kissed the lips…. Then he jumped up and flew in a frenzy
with his little fists out at Mikolka. At that instant his father,
who had been running after him, snatched him up and car-
ried him out of the crowd.
‘Come along, come! Let us go home,’ he said to him.
‘Father! Why did they … kill … the poor horse!’ he
sobbed, but his voice broke and the words came in shrieks
from his panting chest.
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‘They are drunk…. They are brutal … it’s not our busi-
ness!’ said his father. He put his arms round his father but
he felt choked, choked. He tried to draw a breath, to cry
out—and woke up.
He waked up, gasping for breath, his hair soaked with
perspiration, and stood up in terror.
‘Thank God, that was only a dream,’ he said, sitting down
under a tree and drawing deep breaths. ‘But what is it? Is it
some fever coming on? Such a hideous dream!’
He felt utterly broken: darkness and confusion were in
his soul. He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned his
head on his hands.
‘Good God!’ he cried, ‘can it be, can it be, that I shall re-
ally take an axe, that I shall strike her on the head, split her
skull open … that I shall tread in the sticky warm blood,
break the lock, steal and tremble; hide, all spattered in the
blood … with the axe…. Good God, can it be?’
He was shaking like a leaf as he said this.
‘But why am I going on like this?’ he continued, sitting
up again, as it were in profound amazement. ‘I knew that I
could never bring myself to it, so what have I been tortur-
ing myself for till now? Yesterday, yesterday, when I went
to make that … experiment yesterday I realised complete-
ly that I could never bear to do it…. Why am I going over
it again, then? Why am I hesitating? As I came down the
stairs yesterday, I said myself that it was base, loathsome,
vile, vile … the very thought of it made me feel sick and
filled me with horror.
‘No, I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it! Granted, granted that
Crime and Punishment
there is no flaw in all that reasoning, that all that I have con-
cluded this last month is clear as day, true as arithmetic….
My God! Anyway I couldn’t bring myself to it! I couldn’t do
it, I couldn’t do it! Why, why then am I still … ?’
He rose to his feet, looked round in wonder as though
surprised at finding himself in this place, and went towards
the bridge. He was pale, his eyes glowed, he was exhausted
in every limb, but he seemed suddenly to breathe more easi-
ly. He felt he had cast off that fearful burden that had so long
been weighing upon him, and all at once there was a sense
of relief and peace in his soul. ‘Lord,’ he prayed, ‘show me
my path—I renounce that accursed … dream of mine.’
Crossing the bridge, he gazed quietly and calmly at the
Neva, at the glowing red sun setting in the glowing sky. In
spite of his weakness he was not conscious of fatigue. It was
as though an abscess that had been forming for a month
past in his heart had suddenly broken. Freedom, freedom!
He was free from that spell, that sorcery, that obsession!
Later on, when he recalled that time and all that hap-
pened to him during those days, minute by minute, point
by point, he was superstitiously impressed by one circum-
stance, which, though in itself not very exceptional, always
seemed to him afterwards the predestined turning-point of
his fate. He could never understand and explain to himself
why, when he was tired and worn out, when it would have
been more convenient for him to go home by the shortest
and most direct way, he had returned by the Hay Market
where he had no need to go. It was obviously and quite un-
necessarily out of his way, though not much so. It is true that
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it happened to him dozens of times to return home without
noticing what streets he passed through. But why, he was
always asking himself, why had such an important, such
a decisive and at the same time such an absolutely chance
meeting happened in the Hay Market (where he had more-
over no reason to go) at the very hour, the very minute of
his life when he was just in the very mood and in the very
circumstances in which that meeting was able to exert the
gravest and most decisive influence on his whole destiny?
As though it had been lying in wait for him on purpose!
It was about nine o’clock when he crossed the Hay Mar-
ket. At the tables and the barrows, at the booths and the
shops, all the market people were closing their establish-
ments or clearing away and packing up their wares and, like
their customers, were going home. Rag pickers and coster-
mongers of all kinds were crowding round the taverns in
the dirty and stinking courtyards of the Hay Market. Ras-
kolnikov particularly liked this place and the neighbouring
alleys, when he wandered aimlessly in the streets. Here his
rags did not attract contemptuous attention, and one could
walk about in any attire without scandalising people. At the
corner of an alley a huckster and his wife had two tables
set out with tapes, thread, cotton handkerchiefs, etc. They,
too, had got up to go home, but were lingering in conver-
sation with a friend, who had just come up to them. This
friend was Lizaveta Ivanovna, or, as everyone called her,
Lizaveta, the younger sister of the old pawnbroker, Alyona
Ivanovna, whom Raskolnikov had visited the previous day
to pawn his watch and make his experiment…. He already
Crime and Punishment
knew all about Lizaveta and she knew him a little too. She
was a single woman of about thirty-five, tall, clumsy, timid,
submissive and almost idiotic. She was a complete slave and
went in fear and trembling of her sister, who made her work
day and night, and even beat her. She was standing with a
bundle before the huckster and his wife, listening earnestly
and doubtfully. They were talking of something with spe-
cial warmth. The moment Raskolnikov caught sight of her,
he was overcome by a strange sensation as it were of intense
astonishment, though there was nothing astonishing about
this meeting.
‘You could make up your mind for yourself, Lizaveta
Ivanovna,’ the huckster was saying aloud. ‘Come round to-
morrow about seven. They will be here too.’
‘To-morrow?’ said Lizaveta slowly and thoughtfully, as
though unable to make up her mind.
‘Upon my word, what a fright you are in of Alyona Iva-
novna,’ gabbled the huckster’s wife, a lively little woman. ‘I
look at you, you are like some little babe. And she is not
your own sister either-nothing but a step-sister and what a
hand she keeps over you!’
‘But this time don’t say a word to Alyona Ivanovna,’ her
husband interrupted; ‘that’s my advice, but come round to
us without asking. It will be worth your while. Later on your
sister herself may have a notion.’
‘Am I to come?’
‘About seven o’clock to-morrow. And they will be here.
You will be able to decide for yourself.’
‘And we’ll have a cup of tea,’ added his wife.
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‘All right, I’ll come,’ said Lizaveta, still pondering, and
she began slowly moving away.
Raskolnikov had just passed and heard no more. He
passed softly, unnoticed, trying not to miss a word. His
first amazement was followed by a thrill of horror, like a
shiver running down his spine. He had learnt, he had sud-
denly quite unexpectedly learnt, that the next day at seven
o’clock Lizaveta, the old woman’s sister and only compan-
ion, would be away from home and that therefore at seven
o’clock precisely the old woman would be left alone.
He was only a few steps from his lodging. He went in like
a man condemned to death. He thought of nothing and was
incapable of thinking; but he felt suddenly in his whole be-
ing that he had no more freedom of thought, no will, and
that everything was suddenly and irrevocably decided.
Certainly, if he had to wait whole years for a suitable
opportunity, he could not reckon on a more certain step
towards the success of the plan than that which had just
presented itself. In any case, it would have been difficult to
find out beforehand and with certainty, with greater exact-
ness and less risk, and without dangerous inquiries and
investigations, that next day at a certain time an old wom-
an, on whose life an attempt was contemplated, would be at
home and entirely alone.
Crime and Punishment
Chapter VI
L
ater on Raskolnikov happened to find out why the huck-
ster and his wife had invited Lizaveta. It was a very
ordinary matter and there was nothing exceptional about
it. A family who had come to the town and been reduced to
poverty were selling their household goods and clothes, all
women’s things. As the things would have fetched little in
the market, they were looking for a dealer. This was Lizave-
ta’s business. She undertook such jobs and was frequently
employed, as she was very honest and always fixed a fair
price and stuck to it. She spoke as a rule little and, as we
have said already, she was very submissive and timid.
But Raskolnikov had become superstitious of late. The
traces of superstition remained in him long after, and were
almost ineradicable. And in all this he was always after-
wards disposed to see something strange and mysterious,
as it were, the presence of some peculiar influences and co-
incidences. In the previous winter a student he knew called
Pokorev, who had left for Harkov, had chanced in conver-
sation to give him the address of Alyona Ivanovna, the old
pawnbroker, in case he might want to pawn anything. For
a long while he did not go to her, for he had lessons and
managed to get along somehow. Six weeks ago he had re-
membered the address; he had two articles that could be
pawned: his father’s old silver watch and a little gold ring
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with three red stones, a present from his sister at parting.
He decided to take the ring. When he found the old woman
he had felt an insurmountable repulsion for her at the first
glance, though he knew nothing special about her. He got
two roubles from her and went into a miserable little tavern
on his way home. He asked for tea, sat down and sank into
deep thought. A strange idea was pecking at his brain like a
chicken in the egg, and very, very much absorbed him.
Almost beside him at the next table there was sitting a
student, whom he did not know and had never seen, and
with him a young officer. They had played a game of bil-
liards and began drinking tea. All at once he heard the
student mention to the officer the pawnbroker Alyona
Ivanovna and give him her address. This of itself seemed
strange to Raskolnikov; he had just come from her and here
at once he heard her name. Of course it was a chance, but
he could not shake off a very extraordinary impression, and
here someone seemed to be speaking expressly for him; the
student began telling his friend various details about Aly-
ona Ivanovna.
‘She is first-rate,’ he said. ‘You can always get money from
her. She is as rich as a Jew, she can give you five thousand
roubles at a time and she is not above taking a pledge for a
rouble. Lots of our fellows have had dealings with her. But
she is an awful old harpy….’
And he began describing how spiteful and uncertain she
was, how if you were only a day late with your interest the
pledge was lost; how she gave a quarter of the value of an ar-
ticle and took five and even seven percent a month on it and
Crime and Punishment
so on. The student chattered on, saying that she had a sister
Lizaveta, whom the wretched little creature was continually
beating, and kept in complete bondage like a small child,
though Lizaveta was at least six feet high.
‘There’s a phenomenon for you,’ cried the student and he
laughed.
They began talking about Lizaveta. The student spoke
about her with a peculiar relish and was continually laugh-
ing and the officer listened with great interest and asked
him to send Lizaveta to do some mending for him. Raskol-
nikov did not miss a word and learned everything about
her. Lizaveta was younger than the old woman and was her
half-sister, being the child of a different mother. She was
thirty-five. She worked day and night for her sister, and
besides doing the cooking and the washing, she did sew-
ing and worked as a charwoman and gave her sister all she
earned. She did not dare to accept an order or job of any
kind without her sister’s permission. The old woman had
already made her will, and Lizaveta knew of it, and by this
will she would not get a farthing; nothing but the movables,
chairs and so on; all the money was left to a monastery in
the province of N——, that prayers might be said for her in
perpetuity. Lizaveta was of lower rank than her sister, un-
married and awfully uncouth in appearance, remarkably
tall with long feet that looked as if they were bent outwards.
She always wore battered goatskin shoes, and was clean in
her person. What the student expressed most surprise and
amusement about was the fact that Lizaveta was continu-
ally with child.
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‘But you say she is hideous?’ observed the officer.
‘Yes, she is so dark-skinned and looks like a soldier
dressed up, but you know she is not at all hideous. She has
such a good-natured face and eyes. Strikingly so. And the
proof of it is that lots of people are attracted by her. She is
such a soft, gentle creature, ready to put up with anything,
always willing, willing to do anything. And her smile is re-
ally very sweet.’
‘You seem to find her attractive yourself,’ laughed the of-
ficer.
‘From her queerness. No, I’ll tell you what. I could kill
that damned old woman and make off with her money, I as-
sure you, without the faintest conscience-prick,’ the student
added with warmth. The officer laughed again while Ras-
kolnikov shuddered. How strange it was!
‘Listen, I want to ask you a serious question,’ the student
said hotly. ‘I was joking of course, but look here; on one side
we have a stupid, senseless, worthless, spiteful, ailing, hor-
rid old woman, not simply useless but doing actual mischief,
who has not an idea what she is living for herself, and who
will die in a day or two in any case. You understand? You
understand?’
‘Yes, yes, I understand,’ answered the officer, watching
his excited companion attentively.
‘Well, listen then. On the other side, fresh young lives
thrown away for want of help and by thousands, on every
side! A hundred thousand good deeds could be done and
helped, on that old woman’s money which will be buried in
a monastery! Hundreds, thousands perhaps, might be set
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100
on the right path; dozens of families saved from destitu-
tion, from ruin, from vice, from the Lock hospitals—and
all with her money. Kill her, take her money and with the
help of it devote oneself to the service of humanity and the
good of all. What do you think, would not one tiny crime
be wiped out by thousands of good deeds? For one life
thousands would be saved from corruption and decay. One
death, and a hundred lives in exchange—it’s simple arith-
metic! Besides, what value has the life of that sickly, stupid,
ill-natured old woman in the balance of existence! No more
than the life of a louse, of a black-beetle, less in fact because
the old woman is doing harm. She is wearing out the lives
of others; the other day she bit Lizaveta’s finger out of spite;
it almost had to be amputated.’
‘Of course she does not deserve to live,’ remarked the of-
ficer, ‘but there it is, it’s nature.’
‘Oh, well, brother, but we have to correct and direct na-
ture, and, but for that, we should drown in an ocean of
prejudice. But for that, there would never have been a single
great man. They talk of duty, conscience—I don’t want to
say anything against duty and conscience; —but the point
is, what do we mean by them. Stay, I have another question
to ask you. Listen!’
‘No, you stay, I’ll ask you a question. Listen!’
‘Well?’
‘You are talking and speechifying away, but tell me,
would you kill the old woman yourself?’
‘Of course not! I was only arguing the justice of it…. It’s
nothing to do with me….’
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‘But I think, if you would not do it yourself, there’s no
justice about it…. Let us have another game.’
Raskolnikov was violently agitated. Of course, it was all
ordinary youthful talk and thought, such as he had often
heard before in different forms and on different themes. But
why had he happened to hear such a discussion and such
ideas at the very moment when his own brain was just con-
ceiving … the very same ideas? And why, just at the moment
when he had brought away the embryo of his idea from the
old woman had he dropped at once upon a conversation
about her? This coincidence always seemed strange to him.
This trivial talk in a tavern had an immense influence on
him in his later action; as though there had really been in it
something preordained, some guiding hint….
*****
On returning from the Hay Market he flung himself on
the sofa and sat for a whole hour without stirring. Mean-
while it got dark; he had no candle and, indeed, it did not
occur to him to light up. He could never recollect whether
he had been thinking about anything at that time. At last
he was conscious of his former fever and shivering, and he
realised with relief that he could lie down on the sofa. Soon
heavy, leaden sleep came over him, as it were crushing him.
He slept an extraordinarily long time and without dream-
ing. Nastasya, coming into his room at ten o’clock the next
morning, had difficulty in rousing him. She brought him in
tea and bread. The tea was again the second brew and again
in her own tea-pot.
‘My goodness, how he sleeps!’ she cried indignantly. ‘And
Crime and Punishment
10
he is always asleep.’
He got up with an effort. His head ached, he stood up,
took a turn in his garret and sank back on the sofa again.
‘Going to sleep again,’ cried Nastasya. ‘Are you ill, eh?’
He made no reply.
‘Do you want some tea?’
‘Afterwards,’ he said with an effort, closing his eyes again
and turning to the wall.
Nastasya stood over him.
‘Perhaps he really is ill,’ she said, turned and went out.
She came in again at two o’clock with soup. He was lying as
before. The tea stood untouched. Nastasya felt positively of-
fended and began wrathfully rousing him.
‘Why are you lying like a log?’ she shouted, looking at
him with repulsion.
He got up, and sat down again, but said nothing and
stared at the floor.
‘Are you ill or not?’ asked Nastasya and again received no
answer. ‘You’d better go out and get a breath of air,’ she said
after a pause. ‘Will you eat it or not?’
‘Afterwards,’ he said weakly. ‘You can go.’
And he motioned her out.
She remained a little longer, looked at him with compas-
sion and went out.
A few minutes afterwards, he raised his eyes and looked
for a long while at the tea and the soup. Then he took the
bread, took up a spoon and began to eat.
He ate a little, three or four spoonfuls, without appetite,
as it were mechanically. His head ached less. After his meal
10
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he stretched himself on the sofa again, but now he could not
sleep; he lay without stirring, with his face in the pillow. He
was haunted by day-dreams and such strange day-dreams;
in one, that kept recurring, he fancied that he was in Afri-
ca, in Egypt, in some sort of oasis. The caravan was resting,
the camels were peacefully lying down; the palms stood
all around in a complete circle; all the party were at din-
ner. But he was drinking water from a spring which flowed
gurgling close by. And it was so cool, it was wonderful,
wonderful, blue, cold water running among the parti-co-
loured stones and over the clean sand which glistened here
and there like gold…. Suddenly he heard a clock strike. He
started, roused himself, raised his head, looked out of the
window, and seeing how late it was, suddenly jumped up
wide awake as though someone had pulled him off the sofa.
He crept on tiptoe to the door, stealthily opened it and be-
gan listening on the staircase. His heart beat terribly. But
all was quiet on the stairs as if everyone was asleep…. It
seemed to him strange and monstrous that he could have
slept in such forgetfulness from the previous day and had
done nothing, had prepared nothing yet…. And meanwhile
perhaps it had struck six. And his drowsiness and stupe-
faction were followed by an extraordinary, feverish, as it
were distracted haste. But the preparations to be made were
few. He concentrated all his energies on thinking of every-
thing and forgetting nothing; and his heart kept beating
and thumping so that he could hardly breathe. First he had
to make a noose and sew it into his overcoat—a work of a
moment. He rummaged under his pillow and picked out
Crime and Punishment
10
amongst the linen stuffed away under it, a worn out, old
unwashed shirt. From its rags he tore a long strip, a cou-
ple of inches wide and about sixteen inches long. He folded
this strip in two, took off his wide, strong summer overcoat
of some stout cotton material (his only outer garment) and
began sewing the two ends of the rag on the inside, under
the left armhole. His hands shook as he sewed, but he did
it successfully so that nothing showed outside when he put
the coat on again. The needle and thread he had got ready
long before and they lay on his table in a piece of paper. As
for the noose, it was a very ingenious device of his own; the
noose was intended for the axe. It was impossible for him to
carry the axe through the street in his hands. And if hidden
under his coat he would still have had to support it with his
hand, which would have been noticeable. Now he had only
to put the head of the axe in the noose, and it would hang
quietly under his arm on the inside. Putting his hand in his
coat pocket, he could hold the end of the handle all the way,
so that it did not swing; and as the coat was very full, a regu-
lar sack in fact, it could not be seen from outside that he was
holding something with the hand that was in the pocket.
This noose, too, he had designed a fortnight before.
When he had finished with this, he thrust his hand into a
little opening between his sofa and the floor, fumbled in the
left corner and drew out the pledge which he had got ready
long before and hidden there. This pledge was, however,
only a smoothly planed piece of wood the size and thick-
ness of a silver cigarette case. He picked up this piece of
wood in one of his wanderings in a courtyard where there
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was some sort of a workshop. Afterwards he had added to
the wood a thin smooth piece of iron, which he had also
picked up at the same time in the street. Putting the iron
which was a little the smaller on the piece of wood, he fas-
tened them very firmly, crossing and re-crossing the thread
round them; then wrapped them carefully and daintily in
clean white paper and tied up the parcel so that it would be
very difficult to untie it. This was in order to divert the at-
tention of the old woman for a time, while she was trying to
undo the knot, and so to gain a moment. The iron strip was
added to give weight, so that the woman might not guess
the first minute that the ‘thing’ was made of wood. All this
had been stored by him beforehand under the sofa. He had
only just got the pledge out when he heard someone sud-
denly about in the yard.
‘It struck six long ago.’
‘Long ago! My God!’
He rushed to the door, listened, caught up his hat and
began to descend his thirteen steps cautiously, noiselessly,
like a cat. He had still the most important thing to do—to
steal the axe from the kitchen. That the deed must be done
with an axe he had decided long ago. He had also a pocket
pruning-knife, but he could not rely on the knife and still
less on his own strength, and so resolved finally on the axe.
We may note in passing, one peculiarity in regard to all the
final resolutions taken by him in the matter; they had one
strange characteristic: the more final they were, the more
hideous and the more absurd they at once became in his
eyes. In spite of all his agonising inward struggle, he never
Crime and Punishment
10
for a single instant all that time could believe in the carry-
ing out of his plans.
And, indeed, if it had ever happened that everything
to the least point could have been considered and finally
settled, and no uncertainty of any kind had remained, he
would, it seems, have renounced it all as something absurd,
monstrous and impossible. But a whole mass of unsettled
points and uncertainties remained. As for getting the axe,
that trifling business cost him no anxiety, for nothing could
be easier. Nastasya was continually out of the house, espe-
cially in the evenings; she would run in to the neighbours or
to a shop, and always left the door ajar. It was the one thing
the landlady was always scolding her about. And so, when
the time came, he would only have to go quietly into the
kitchen and to take the axe, and an hour later (when every-
thing was over) go in and put it back again. But these were
doubtful points. Supposing he returned an hour later to put
it back, and Nastasya had come back and was on the spot.
He would of course have to go by and wait till she went out
again. But supposing she were in the meantime to miss the
axe, look for it, make an outcry —that would mean suspi-
cion or at least grounds for suspicion.
But those were all trifles which he had not even begun
to consider, and indeed he had no time. He was thinking
of the chief point, and put off trifling details, until he could
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